Review: Go Girl

This one's a life changer, ladies.

Ever get really envious of the men at races while standing in line waiting for a port a potty? Men can get in and out to pee in thirty seconds flat, while we womenfolk must disrobe our lower half, hover over the usually naaaasty seat, wipe, redress, and sanitize our hands. This takes at least three minutes, more for me if I have on compression tights. If you are hit with the urge on the race course, you have to pray that the race organizers strategically placed a port a potty. Men just find a tree.

Enter the Go Girl, which levels the playing field.

This is made of medical grade silicone, and comes in a cool little tube which would fit in a hydration pack or a SPI belt. Open the tube, and a funnel pops out which contours itself to the female anatomy and drains away urine. A shake, pop it in a ziplock for washing later, and you are good to go.

Concerns I had which were addressed when I tried it: no, it doesn't leak. Yes, you can just pull your pants down slightly like men do or, if you are wearing shorts, just push it into place and guide the end of the funnel out of the bottom. No, there isn't much urine left on the inside. No, if you are careful there won't be urine on your hands, but a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer in your spi belt or hydration pack would resolve the issue. Yes, it's discreet enough that the braver women among us could use it behind a tree. And yes, you will get to discover what it feels like to pee like a man.

More seriously, this is a must have -- MUST HAVE -- for the active woman. Any concerns I had about being away from a bathroom for outdoor activities -- camping, backpacking, hiking, fishing, kayaking -- are now gone. I got mine at amazon for a whopping 4.99. Small price to pay for pees of mind.

Sorry, couldn't help myself there. :D

Athletic Running/Walking Wear for Athenas

If I had to hazard a guess, I would say larger women (and by larger I mean women whose BMI would classify them as overweight/obese) who shun exercise do so because it can be so dadgum uncomfortable. I speak from painful personal experience; over a year ago, when I began exercising, I could not walk more than 2 miles at a 20 minute/mile pace on a treadmill, I could not pedal my bike up a 15% grade hill even in my granny gear, and five minutes on the elliptical was my max. More to the point, I had parts that bounced so violently as to cause bruising, I lived in fear of chafing, and at the end of a workout my hair and body were completely soaked with sweat. (And this was in February).

The long and short of the matter is, it really doesn't have to be that way. Good exercise gear goes a long way toward making you comfortable and getting yourself out of your own way. I have some recommendations, based on my own experiences. Here they are, in order of importance.

1) A GOOD SPORTS BRA. I am a 36DDD, so I speak from experience here. This is a must, and it will make an enormous difference in your comfort level. "Good" depends entirely on the sport. For anything at all high impact, such as running or tennis, there's only one word: ENELL. Yes, they are hella expensive, ugly, and hard to put on, but once you do, NOTHING MOVES. Yep, it's true. For lower impact sports like cycling, yoga, racewalking, and such, I love Moving Comfort. I love Moving Comfort so much, I wear them for everyday undergarments. These two companies took me from painful bruising to not thinking about my boobs at all during exercise. If that isn't a ringing endorsement I don't know what is.

2) SHOES THAT FIT YOUR PERSONAL FEET. For the love of all that is holy, please. Do NOT go to a discount shoe store and stick your feet in the cushiest shoes you can find. Do NOT go to your local mall's Lady Foot Locker. Those people know bupkis. Instead, go immediately to your local running store and tell them what you intend to do with your feet (walk a 5k? run a trail marathon? skip to the grocery store three times a week?). If they don't assess your gait, find a store that does. Once they've listened to you and watched you walk or run, they should bring out a number of different shoes and let you try them on and do your thing in each of them. If they don't, find a store that does. Then, pick the shoes that feel the best on your feet out of the ones they've recommended. Buy them; price should not be an issue, as good shoes will make or break you. Once you've found your shoe, buy new ones every few hundred miles.

3) DRY WICKING SOCKS. Do you know how much sweat your feet put out daily? About two tablespoons. If you wear cotton socks, that water will stay near your feet, keeping them cold, damp, and prone to blisters. Do NOT wear cotton socks. Get some socks with dry wicking capability.

4) COMPRESSION CAPRIS OR TIGHTS. Now, I know what you're thinking. "Spandex? On my ass? No thank you." I ask you to reconsider. There is nothing worse than shorts creep. Except for maybe chafing between your thighs. Neither is pleasant, you'd agree. I have yet to have a problem with either since I invested in compression running capris. C9 by Champion (available at Target) are reasonably priced (twenty bucks) and work reasonably well for the novice run/walker. Again, no cotton. Cotton kills. If you live in fear of people seeing your butt jiggle, layer shorts over compression capris or tights if you must. Me? I don't give a rip.

5) TECHNICAL TEE. What's wrong with an old cotton tee? Go walk/run ten miles in one in 70degree weather and then get back to me. They get clammy and heavy and the seams can cause underarm chafing. (Ask me how I know). Technical tees are available for not much money (ten bucks) at Target. They make you so much more comfortable. Consider it an investment in yourself.

6) HYDRATION SYSTEM. This can be as simple as a handheld bottle with a handstrap (2 bucks at WalMart) or as complex as a hydration waistpack (fifty plus bucks), but you will need to replace fluids. As they say in the Army, "hydrate or die."

Really, that's what you need to avoid unnecessary pain and suffering while exercising as an Athena.

Hardcore, Part One

So. I'm registered to run my first 5k.

On December 31st. In Wisconsin.

Yeah.

So. Sunday afternoon, my husband (who will hereinafter be referred to as Sweetness) says "it's time to run outdoors, dear, and test your gear."

Of course he's right. Of COURSE he's right.

But do I want to run in sub-freezing temperatures? No. I don't.

So I suit up. I wear the following: brooks running tights, polypro base layer, eddie bauer windproof jacket, c9 wind pants, head gloves, and injinji socks with fivefinger bikilas. Also borrowed Sweetness's windproof North Face hat. I thought for sure I'd freeze.

Turns out, running outside in the cold makes me faster. I did 4 miles quicker than I ever have (though I am still painfully slow) and peeled off the hat and jacket within five minutes of my warm up walk. Only need a fleece ear wrap, I think, and may not need the wind pants if there's no serious wind.

It didn't hurt that I knew there was coffee at the end. Heh.

Barefoot: Or, Why I Wear Those Funny Looking Shoes

I should maybe back up a little and tell you, really, how extraordinary it is that I run. At all.

I have tried in the course of my lifetime to run several times, and never, prior to this time, have I been successful in the least. I would go to the local Discount Shoe Barn, pick a purdy pair of "cross trainers," put on cotton gym socks, lace the whole thing up, and inevitably end 200 yards later with my knees and ankles screaming for mercy. I thought for sure I wasn't built for running.

But then, a couple of things happened. First of all, I met my husband, a former Marine, a distance runner, and a stubborn sweet talker with a penchant for persuading me to do things outside my comfort zone. Second, he started wearing these butt-ugly toe shoes and running in them, and miraculously his knee pain disappeared. And third, he thought it would be a good idea if I got a pair too, so that we could run together.

After much gentle but persistent harassment, one day, to shut him up, I watched a video of a Harvard evolutionary biologist, Dan Lieberman, explain why running shoes sucked. It featured a woman of about my build (read: like a brick shithouse) being wired up on a treadmill which recorded the comparative impact of her running stride in regular running shoes, and in these funky toe shoes. In the regular running shoes, her stride was longer and her foot struck the ground heel first. The impact on her body was incredible, a sharp peak on the monitor followed by a smaller ripple effect. In the weird shoes, her stride was shorter, and she landed mid-foot -- on the part between the toes and the heel. The monitor recorded a lower, more evenly distributed impact. This Lieberman fellow is convinced that running shoes change the body's natural running stride to our detriment, and that we are born to run . . . well, barefoot.

I thought, what the heck, and walked down to the basement, kicked off my shoes, and hopped on the treadmill.

Ten minutes later, I was ordering the funny looking shoes. Turns out, the Lieberman guy and my husband were on to something. In the funny shoes, my stride is shorter, and my foot hits the ground on the middle part of my foot. My knees don't hurt. My ankles don't hurt. It's amazing.

Yeah, they're Vibram FiveFingers. I have two pairs now, along with three pairs of funny toe socks.

They may be funny looking, but they turned me into a runner.